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  • Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*

Posted 17 minutes ago With 510,958 notes

244377 notes / reblog / 44 minutes ago
irvinatorr:

wow the fifty shades of grey movie looks intense

irvinatorr:

wow the fifty shades of grey movie looks intense

lifesanemotionalrollercoaster:

c4cti:

sometimes i wake up with a very urgent thought on my mind and it’s usually pretty dumb like ‘je suis un pomme' or 'root beer fairytales' but this morning i woke up and sat there for a second and all i could think was

tis i,

the frenchiest fry

I JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN CLASS

Posted 1 hour ago With 171,508 notes

70126 notes / reblog / 1 hour ago
5083 notes / reblog / 2 hours ago

gallows-calibrating:

one time I had this dream that I logged on to amazon and my account had like negative four trillion dollars because i accidentally bought the city of Paris

Posted 2 hours ago With 196,108 notes

pizza:

*gets homework out of bag* i think that’s enough homework for one day

Posted 2 hours ago With 278,939 notes

not to offend anyone here but, im beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have me

Posted 3 hours ago With 54,552 notes

132419 notes / reblog / 4 hours ago

Being gay is a sin.

@Anonymous

imstill-paintingflowers-foryou:

lots of things are sins. a quick google search tells me that arguing is a sin, bitterness is a sin, debate is a sin, cursing, “not being slow in your speak”, “not being meek and quiet”, complaining, wearing the clothing of the opposite sex, divorce, shaving your body hair, FEAR. FEELING FEAR IS A SIN. so so so many things are a “sin”. you cannot sit there behind an anon screen and tell me that you’ve never felt fear, or been in an argument. have you ever shaved? you’ve sinned. please do not come onto my blog and tell me “being gay is a sin” honey I’m bisexual and I’m proud. I shave, I’ve felt fear, I get in fights, I FUCKING swear, I’m just a big sinner. and darling, you’ve probably sinned as well. so get off my blog, take your homophobic shit with you, and have a nice day.

Posted 4 hours ago With 156 notes

129704 notes / reblog / 4 hours ago

mountainsandmochas:

one of my favorite ron swanson lines

suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”

Posted 5 hours ago With 221,273 notes

418 notes / reblog / 5 hours ago

cranapplejuiceadvocate:

me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?

Posted 5 hours ago With 336,832 notes

14812 notes / reblog / 6 hours ago